Choosing yourself: a relaxed woman
You do not need to be busy all the time!
You do not need to be busy all the time!
I see my girlies doing everything from social media management, up-skilling, taking ALX courses, and working their asses off because majority of us have become matriarch of our household.
I see it even with female bosses. They do not know how to be a relaxed woman. They do not know this because for a long time the word “woman,” equals “to do.” “To always be doing,” and that’s beautiful for those who it has become their way of life.
It is now stupid when you expect other women around you to always be doing like you do.
You expect certain levels of work from your female staff and expect everyone to always be in a state of doing.
If you have ADHD or anxiety disorder it is worse. You cannot breathe, you cannot relax, you want to keep doing because it makes you seemingly productive, and there’s guilt from just being idle.
It takes a level of nobody will die for you to become a relaxed woman.
Becoming a relaxed woman after enduring back to back years of chaos is a difficult journey. It is why many women go back to toxic exes and consistently find themselves with the same men in different face and body.
You have not deconstructed the chaos from which you used to operate from.
Not gonna lie actively being engaged and doing gives me such a high that when I sit with nothing to do it feels worse than a heartbreak.
That was when I realized that I was in a constant state of doing with little to nothing to show for it.
2024 has not been my most active year work wise, yet the difference in my skin, glow and body is so obvious I receive nonsense messages every day asking me to slow down and go back to the body they were used to. Nonsense!!!
I receive admiring messages asking me if the air I inhale in Abuja doesn’t include Tinubu’s sufferings. lol.
I sat down and wondered is it the age? Does hitting the silver jubilee bring new body changes? Is it eating healthy? Because I’ve not been to the hospital since June this year and I am so grateful for that.
Is it exercising? Why do I have bursts of energy for days? Is it my mindset?
Then it hit me with the way I’ve carried the “I cannot kill myself,” mindset all through this year.
I enjoy being the woman who finds a spot to sit if there are 100 women standing. I will sit down.
I enjoy being the woman who doesn’t shout too much because my voice is soft and I can speak slowly and you’ll listen.
I am the woman who is never rushed. Unless it is emergency I try not to be in a state of panic often.
I am the woman who decides to take a two hour nap in between my work day because my brain is overloaded.
I enjoy doing my bills and balancing my books and paying off my debts with ease. This way I also borrow money from my friends who have ease around them.
I do not collect every client and I do not collect every money.
I am cultivating a life of principle where I choose my peace and myself in every space.
I could notice you like noise and when I talk to you I will try not to talk over your music until you realize the need to turn it off and listen to me.
I do not give two seconds to men who bring the agbero in me. I cannot come and be shouting over the phone by 8 am because you do not have the sense of speech. And when you open your mouth you are always the victim of my wickedness.
Please go to where peace is life is not hard oh.
I budget within my means and keep my outing money steady from my PiggyVest.
People who see my post and think I am now giveaway mama should sorry oh. lol. I am very meticulous with my money and eating my hard work.
I work for my salary like mad and I ensure a percentage goes into my well being to function properly.
You disturb me I mute you. You insult me I mute you. You body shame me I mute you! I will not go back and forth with you.
Because I am a relaxed woman and every woman needs to be a relaxed woman.
If you’re not a relaxed woman na you go carry relationship trauma left and right. You will be in relationships where it is one day happiness and five days tears and panic attacks.
My body will not even feel safe if we suspect you are mildly abusive self. My radar will radar away like mad.
I am a relaxed woman and anywhere I find myself I settle in well. I take up space loudly, quietly, gracefully, and unashamed.
I eat with much gusto! I dress as my heart and body pleases. Comfort is my watch word! I watch movies that make me happy, I eat food that make me happy!
I relax my soul and body to be loved by my friends and family. I collect my pockets of joys in the mundane.
This year might not be the best for me career wise as I would have loved but I exceeded many expectations and I was a relaxed woman for most of it!
I face my battles and I face my joys as well.
Being a relaxed woman is a state I encourage all women to be in at least thrice in a while!
There are things you won’t argue over as a relaxed woman:
Who’s right or wrong
Your choice, preference and decisions
Other people’s opinion
Your needs
Your wants
Your core values
What you do with your energy
Your boundaries
Things that are just nobody’s else’s business but yours
Thanks for reading. ✨
This is beautiful. Every woman should read this.
yesss to this a thousand times