What isn’t love?

Nov 29, 2024

Hey,

I can’t sleep so I might as well write. My friends praise me for my ability to conjure an answer on the whim. They praise me for being able to form a poem from a picture.

So today I scored Quora for questions on love and found this one. “What isn’t love?”

As usual listicle answers and yada yada. AI answers too came out to play. So I decided to answer mine on the whim here for you.

The question “What isn’t love?” Had over 7 million views. 7 million people could relate to this one simple question on love.

When I saw the question it brought me memories of all the times people showed me what isn’t love. So I will tell you what isn’t love for me.

Trying to know my whereabouts and stuff about me meanwhile you remain sneaky on yours. That selective openness isn’t love.
Adding to my burdens despite knowing the burdens I carry.
Saying one thing to me and doing the other which you know I do not stand for.
Telling me I deserve better and giving up on me is not love.
I have learned now that saying, “you are mine,” is not love. We belong to no one yet we belong to everyone. We are fluid beings meant to flow as community. Wanting to convert someone just for you isn’t love.
Love is not abusive during argument. Love is not silent during moments assurances are needed. Love is not silent when communication is needed.
Deliberating ignoring and late replies isn’t love.
Love is not staying up late and talking either. Love is not pointing out my flaws to hide your own insecurities.
Love is not keeping silent when a man you know means no good comes to me yet you hold space for him more than you do for me.
Love is not saying “forever and infinity baby, I love you always baby,” and at the first test you run like a chicken.
Love isn’t comfortable with me hurting.
Watching your children stress the life of the first born isn’t love.
Talking to your abuser when he does nothing for you isn’t love. It is hate for yourself.
Not planning your life well to make your emergency become someone else’s responsibility isn’t love.
Maintaining old patterns when you know their outcome isn’t love.
Being obsessed with being hated isn’t love.
Taking coffee at 12:40 am isn’t love.
Not being considerate of the persons health, body and strength isn’t love.
Not managing your resources well isn’t love.
Not calling out wrongs or setting boundaries for the fear that something would go wrong isn’t love.
Being afraid of letting the foundations crumble at the slight shake shows it was never love.
Love isn’t convetous.
Love isn’t harmful.
Love isn’t cowardly.
Love doesn’t bring you unease.
Eating the last bite of meat, cake, food or whatever without offering some to the one you say you love isn’t love.
Love isn’t calculative.
Finally with all the lists and what nots I will say love isn’t perfection. It is brave it is foolish, it is madness sometimes too, but it is not perfect.