Six months in
The consolation to myself is that if I end up in a cottage, alone with a dog and two cats, with vast land to farm on, and thousands of books to read, that’s still the dream
I started this year just praying my sister survived her health ordeal and she did. It was wild and crazy. The ordeal had my mother and I sleeping outside on hospital benches in the cold of January. The next day, I went for my eye treatment and got my medicated glasses. This ordeal also had us doing unnecessary spending early into the year and that really tried its best to set the tempo for my year. I’ve suffered, haha.
The weeks went by very fast, but the sufferings I have endured and the joys I have had this year remain vivid in my memory.
What went really well? To be honest, nothing has gone really well this year. I have wrestled and fought tooth and nail to get everything I desired. Everything was challenging. From my passport journey, the man in charge wrote a different NIN number for me and kept frustrating me with his messages as though it were my fault. The times when he would just speak anyhow like I was the one holding the NIN network, the visits to the office, and the entire stress. Thanks to the woman who connected me to him, she refunded me the stress when I discovered the error wasn’t from my end or the NIN office’s end. God bless Mena.
Finally, with my passport in my hand, the man moved to part two frustration asking me to meet him at a hotel. Since he was on my contact; anytime he saw my post, he commented with that one agenda in mind. I blocked and deleted his number. Almost every Nigerian man in power wants to frustrate you and still have your body if you allow it. God forbid! I got my passport.
Work-wise, the first quarter dealt me with enough stress, it was really unnecessary if you ask me about the pressure we face at work sometimes, the deadlines, and whatnot. These things are flexible, why stress when we can easily do things and get to the finish line without being burnt? I am sure most of the worries in the first quarter don’t really matter now. Deadlines shouldn’t be the problem although it is for most people, the goal should be doing work that resonates well with everyone involved. However, I understand that the first quarter always comes with certain pressure for people and businesses to get their lives in order, and I laugh. I have never been able to relate as a one-day or one-week-at-a-time kind of girl.
What were my biggest lessons?
Nobody is perfect; we all have flaws and prejudices, but most people wear theirs loudly, others wear theirs silently, and you start to see it when you portray a certain persona in the media.
You are your biggest supporter, so act like it.
Having financial literacy would save you a lot. I used to be that girl who quickly paid for things in advance, like maybe I have six months to pay my school fees, and it has been broken down into installments, I would pay all six months in one month if I had the money. Then I become stranded when I have an emergency, leading me to borrow. I learned the hard way. I give grace as grace has been given to me and do things slowly, nobody is running anywhere. This has helped me save a lot for projects I want to do.
Sometimes, going with the flow is necessary. I went with the flow, and now I have things I didn’t think I would have this year. I got an inverter on impulse. This week was very hard for me. My laptop packed up, the fan and the batteries spoilt. The ones they found were not compatible with it. Data was finished, and I had just locked money in a savings app. Anyhow, I went with the tide, and now I own a new Lenovo Thinkpad system and have 1 TB of data on my WiFi. Somebody shout glory! I cried like a mother who lost her baby this week. It was a hell of a struggle, but I flowed. That’s all I’ve done this year—try to flow and stay afloat so I don’t sink.
Find your tribe. Joining my book club was one of the best decisions I made for myself this year. It is fun. I am happy there. We talk words, we talk books, and this prompted me to register for my business. It’s all coming together little by little. I didn’t envision registering a business this year or even talking to my lawyer friend this year and discussing business. My baby girl is a sound lawyer, by the way; she knows her onions. She’s another person I’m glad this year brought me close to.
Your health is wealth. July first week had pains calling me by my full government name. Alhamdulillah, we are here, and it is beautiful; we do not look like what we go through.
So far this year, I have honored my values in every way, worked within my comforts, and stayed true to what I don’t want. Taking breaks as needed, working as needed, and getting my financial literacy up there. The only dry thing in my life is my love life. It’s as dry as the sands of the desert, and there’s no help in sight soon. Love in Abuja is like climbing a mountain in heels—a dangerous sport.
My favorite memories are my book club dates and the dates I had on January 29th and April 25th.
I can’t evaluate progress based on any set goals because I had one goal of being a travel girlie and getting my money up. The only travel I’ve done is from my house to the hospital to cafes, all within Abuja. I’ve not even crossed river Benue’s bridge. However, I have gotten more than I asked this year for and I am grateful for it.
The only failure I’ve had is not being serious with my studies. I’m exhausted by school work and I wish I could get my head back into it but I can’t. I am overwhelmed by studying. I hate group studies as well. I thrive better when it isn’t group work, but this course is like war. I dislike the tutoring styles. I almost wanted to ask the school to refund my school fees.
On the good side, I’ve completed two books. I hope for the zeal to publish them. This July, all I have done is think about my life. Many of us want to be generational wealth builders, curse breakers, and all that, and somehow I wonder what happens if we don’t do all that. At what age do we make peace and accept ourselves? I don’t even want to think about it. Some of us are pushing to 30 now, and yet the governments of this world have made living at all corners look like an endless cycle of bills, payments, salary, work, and vibes.
The consolation to myself is that if I end up in a cottage, alone with a dog and two cats, with vast land to farm on, and thousands of books to read, that’s still the dream—peaceful living away from the chaos of life.
I love you.