selective faith

I sit at the salon making micro twists to embark on a long-term sister loc journey. I recall the conversation I had with my friend as the stylist held my hair a little too tight; I yelped.

My friend told me that she has someone who can run something for me. I appreciate it, but it made me wonder if we will have connections when it comes to heaven, too. I won’t be surprised, Sha.

Systematic Rot

You will not be surprised that the most religious person wishes the systematic rot in Nigeria favored them and theirs too. Bribery forgery is apparently not a sin anymore. It is a means to get what ordinarily we should but because of the system, we are faced with this.

An increase in things that ordinarily should not be THAT expensive but they are because a god-fearing trader decided it to be so. Is theft no longer a sin? Are lies no longer sin?

Fornication

This one has long baffled me. My male friends would tell me of girls who came to spend the night with them and ended up the next morning, playing the popular 7 am fire prayers. How about those who play some daily devotional and even ask them to pray?

Is fornication and adultery no longer a sin? Even in the church, you see it happen—brothers prospecting new babes. Low-key saliva and body fluid exchange happening, sometimes even the shepherd partakes.

One would say ‘ehn body no be firewood,’ but sometimes I am like ‘Really?’

I have been one who if I am committing any sort of sin knowingly I try to distance myself from faith. I pray but I do not try to rope others in with zeal.

Like I am just chill because I know my shortcomings kinda thing.

It shocked me when someone would immediately wash himself and then pray just after the nasties. Like intense nasties. next thing you’re on the mat praying or praying before you begin.

Perhaps it is because I do not know how to do one leg in and one leg out.

I also do not see sin as normal. I am aware of deliberate, unnecessary lies, I do not tell them. I am aware of sin. So being conscious of it doesn’t make me comfortable when someone whom I know commits them wholeheartedly still is preaching faith to me.

I know faith, so I wonder what’s the point of being all righteous to me when I know if given the chance you wish to “nak”

Or you just finished the nastiest and want to tell me about faith. It makes me feel like I am the only one aware that this should not be happening.

Office Officials

Elder in the church, best mother and father in the world, the banner of Christ over your office, car, and briefcase but you want me to give you 100k before I proceed to the next office. You want me to lay with you before you approve what I paid and followed due process for.

But when the contract you increased the number for pull through it is a testimony to God.

David was an imperfect man but God said he was the man after his heart.

God doesn’t need you to be perfect he needs you to come as you are. True, but this as you are gets worse daily.

It makes me wonder about Elijah, the man who had the power to command bears to eat children because they laughed at his bald head, but couldn’t use the same power to grow his hair? 2 Kings 2:23-24.

Are we in some ways like Elijah? Allowing our human selves to show more and win while we try to be more upright in faith?

Will we ever get better?

Idk

Am I judging? I don’t know. I think it is me who doesn’t get it. And every race is personal I understand.

I just want to understand some so I can see where they are coming from.

Perhaps I want to see that it isn’t easy to lie, cheat, scam, or even treat someone badly if you call on God’s name in any way.

There should be hesitation to not murder someone’s spirit and body if you proclaim faith.

Some would say those are the wolves in sheep's clothing.

Why the fuck do I not see the sheep? Where are they? Why does everyone have elements of wolves in them?

Can one not say “I am of God,” and you feel the grace of God extend to you wholesomely? Why must the holy books and their characters have flaws that we have as well?

Does that mean perfection is a farce? If yes how do I remove these expectations and be normal like everyone and not be doing maths in my head and asking numerous questions??