Misogyny and Feminism

I love owning my space and being at the right side of the human experience. The side where discrimination because of race, gender, sexuality, religion, tribe, skin color, and identity doesn't exist.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

In a conversation with my friend yesterday, we spoke about feminism and misogyny. He asked me, “Are you a feminist?” I said, “I think I am.” He said this was a yes or no question. I said I think I am because my feminism is selfish. It is for me. It isn’t for the next woman to know better because I believe most women do know better but they choose to be the biggest enablers. 

He said, “Do you not think the societal conditioning and religion have made them this way?” I said it could be true that society and religion have made them this way, which is why I am grateful for the vocal feminists who are almost everywhere teaching women better. However, I have always questioned why I should be in the kitchen and my brother deserves to watch his favorite shark movie. From age six, I questioned a lot of things and I’ve found the answers to be that most women not only uphold the pillars of misogyny but support it as well because of whatever reasons that might be and it varies in different ways.

Misogyny at physical workplaces

When I chased my culinary passion of being an intercontinental chef who specialized in Asian cuisine, many doors were shut in my face because I was a female chef. They were worried that my period and other things that come with the woman's body would hinder my performance at work. They often expected me to charge lower because I am well, a woman. Most times I got the job but I often had a male assistant supporting me. And I often found myself proving twice as much that I deserve this role. Meanwhile, my assistant needed to do the bare minimum to be celebrated by the female manager. That happened until the day I had the hit-and-run accident which put a pause on that career.

We closed after the event that day, and three days later I awoke in the hospital with no memory of what happened to have brought me there. I sustained too many injuries, a torn lip, pierced sides, wounds on the head, on the elbow, and my left knee dislocated with a torn ligament. It was terrible months of recovery which led me to the remote journey. 

Women friendships

Women are the priceless gifts of the world. Friendships with women have immense benefits. Having a sisterhood is like having your sure gang for life. I believe once people have hacked good friendships you’ll understand the immense value and magic that exists there in having women be a part of your journey. Now, this is my experience so everything I say is from my reality. 

After the accident, women in my life helped me up. A woman bought me my first laptop–Mrs. Modupe, my friend paid for my course to learn skills I could offer remotely, my mother was always there cleaning my wounds until they healed completely. The list goes on and on. The accident happened in June 2021. I learned IT Support all through August through a post Barimike made on Facebook and I paid for the class. In September 2021 I got my first client through a ghostwriting gig on Upwork and he paid me $1000. The remote work journey began then. 

Misogyny at remote workplaces

One would think that misogyny happens just in physical workplaces but in remote work settings it happens as well. I have gotten clients outside of Upwork and sometimes on Upwork. Like I said in one of my posts if you’re willing you’ll see opportunities everywhere.

I have found clients even on Snapchat, TikTok, Pinterest, Email Newsletters, Referrals, Facebook, Quora, and even Reddit. What services do I offer? Well, my skills vary but writing is at the core of what I do which I’ll list at the end of the newsletter.

Back to the topic. So, in remote work settings as well, I have seen the subtle nuances of misogyny at work. Like the marketing director, giving me tasks beyond my contract and saying, you women know these things better. A task that is his and he is paid to do, he drops it on our desk because it is well, “a female” thing. He is paid more but delivers less yet the women in charge feels he is best suited for the role. How are you the marketing director for a lingerie company and you have no basic understanding of why women wear lingerie in the first place? It is not even for the male gaze. So many reasons I can’t begin to explain in this piece. 

This subtle misogyny is the reason why I was made Executive Editor and worked so hard, yet when the final magazine was printed my male colleague's name took the space meant for the Executive editor. A correction I brought twice to the team, yet everyone overlooked that small mistake. I mean you would think someone who has been with the team would get their accolades properly. Nope, it wasn’t even a mistake because the corrections brought to the team were made but that aspect was specifically overlooked. It was a discussion with a friend who brought it to my attention that he thinks it is an intentional mistake.

It is the same misogyny that makes the female project manager overlook the long over-missed deadlines of a male designer, but pick nits everything the team’s female designer does on the Figma file. I don’t know if it is easy to unlearn some little nuances picked up from society and religion. 

As for me, I always find ways to cope because I believe people have an idea of what they’re doing and it isn’t my place to begin teaching them to unlearn things. Life experiences push us to unlearn things or stay stagnant. Change our processes or change the way we perceive things to be so we find the internal peace we seek. Ask yourself why you get riled up at the audacity of a woman like, how dare she? But it is an expected reality for the audacity most men wield daily at workplaces and the like.

What can we do to be better?

We all know the world isn’t the same as it was in 2015, 2018, or even 2021, we are fast progressing. You either unlearn the deep-rooted misogyny and begin to play on the field the world is playing now. You behave a certain way to a certain group, you accept the results you see. It is 2024, people should not have to demand respect and common decency from people. It is sad we still do due to some rooted issues and the diverse backgrounds we all come from. There are resources everywhere, read, learn, and read some more. 

What skills do I offer?

I am Winifred Liam and I write. I write and I have upskilled numerously since I started my remote journey. I have enjoyed working hand in hand with founders, you can say that I have start-up experience. The start-up experience is a whirlwind journey you never know which turn the next phase will take. I’ve also worked with established brands, I like this because of the beauty of a brand already having a set expectation of what I am supposed to do.  

Due to the tech wave, I wanted to transition so badly into tech and I upskilled a LOT!

• I am a skilled Product Manager, here’s my portfolio: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1qxwXoebXw69lo427D45XGGz_ddQ14wNK 

• Skilled UX/UI Designer, here’s my Behance profile and my best work by my standards (which aren't much tbh lol): https://www.behance.net/gallery/180101201/YouWell-Mental-Health-Wellness-App-Design https://www.behance.net/gallery/181750527/GreenThreads-Website 

• Skilled HubSpot Certified Content Marketing Manager. 

• I am an Author of three published books and one unpublished children’s book. Unpublished because I feel it is missing something I can't quite figure out yet. 

• I am a ghostwriter for fictional and non-fiction books. 

• I offer proofreading and editing services as well.

• I'm a copywriter and as such I write copies for; Websites, Emails, Sales, Social Media, etc.

• I write content  for blogs, websites, and emails.

• I know SEO and Amazon sales setup and marketing for books.

• I write applications for Ivy League Medical Schools, Business Schools, and Law Schools applications. 

• I write purpose statement essays.

• I've ghost written erotic books too. 😂😂😂

• I paint sometimes, I used to doodle but have extended the hobby to painting.

• I read and dissect books. I love reading fiction. It has a way of teaching you more than non-fiction does.

• For content writing here is a brief portfolio, although I've written over 100 articles by now: https://www.clippings.me/winifredliam 

• I spearheaded an email marketing campaign to secure leads for sales before product launch by developing the lead magnet, a guide meant to help people dealing with self-doubt!

• I'm an Editor.

• Pinterest and Blog Manager.

• LinkedIn management 😂

• Social media management and developing content calendars for all socials.

• I teach people how to write and earn from writing. So far I've had a total of 20 students I have taught one on one.

• I might add video editing to the list but I only do that for fun and my laptop can't handle extreme editing.

That's all I can recall that I do or the skills I possess. I am not narrowing down any skill set because I am at the stage where every coin I earn matters so I can't limit where it comes from. Also, I am ridiculously good at all the things I manage with my virtual assistant effectively.

Although I am on break now due to a correctional surgery I had on June 4th. I do little work, but don't sit for as long as before. I stand and I move around and lie on my back most times.

Hopefully by August I shall resume fully and hopefully by then my website will be done and I begin to market myself as a business wholly and draw out rate cards and categorize my offerings properly. 

Conclusion

In May I lost two friends. Friends who are good girls. Good women who kept quiet and endured abuse till it ended them. It broke my heart. I fear I might never be the same. The acute awareness I have with life now drives me. 

As much as I love quiet luxuries, country life, and my Earl Gray iced tea, I also love speaking for myself. I love owning my space and being at the right side of the human experience. The side where discrimination because of race, gender, sexuality, religion, tribe, skin color, and identity doesn't exist. The side where I am first a human being before anything else matters. The side where lazy work isn’t rewarded. The side where hard work is cherished and rewarded. The side where there’s freedom to be yourself without conditions. 

Also, a thank you to my friend Rachel. You have no idea how much it means to me to have your support this month. On Friday I felt like I couldn't breathe, I was claustrophobic in my own space Rachel came. Thank you. ♥︎ On that note, to my friends in the open and in the closet, 

Happy Pride, 

May we find the happiness we seek.

Love, Just Win for today!