May, Dearest May
Today, June 2nd, my heart is full. Full of the endless opportunities that abound and despite my struggles with saving and breaking the savings and piggy charging me 3.5% of my money which I hate...
May has always been a month of making pivotal decisions for me in my life. Somehow June 1st is always my new year. I feel a great sense of ease in my decisions moving forward. I love that the energy I have for June always reflects. I started this practice in 2021; since then, my second half has always surpassed my first half. This year I am ready for a times ten of my first half in terms of earnings and good things.
In terms of other things, I believe God has crowned himself faithful in my life, so regardless of what I face or go through I don’t look like it. Today, June 2nd, my heart is full. Full of the endless opportunities that abound and despite my struggles with saving and breaking the savings and piggy charging me 3.5% of my money which I hate so much, I just feel like blessings in big loads is coming for me and my household to replenish the losses I had in my first half.
I empathize with a lot of people going through it in terms of the civil wars happening all around us. As I empathize I still try to be where my feet are with my family because worrying about the future stresses me twice and I don’t want that. I have mastered the art of compartmentalizing my life so that there is peace from where I am now and it feels surreal.
We lost people in May. I mourn with the bereaved. I pray for their peace of mind as I keep my peace of mind as I don’t quite process things like others. It is often on the extreme. One can’t quite understand loss better than the one who has lost someone and I respect that because I have experienced my share of loss in this life. I pray for everyone who has lost someone. The wound never heals we just learn to live with it.
This newsletter’s inspired by Teacher Gbenga Adebiyi’s newsletter which he shared a question, “How did May go for You?” So I decided to write about how May went for me.
On May
In May I pushed myself, learned numerous new things, and the realization that I could offer more. However, I tried to tie the ropes with most of the things I offer but it isn’t working because it takes people longer time to see you are not where you used to be. This is a good thing because while they are taking the time to grasp that you are moving on fast. In May a lot of people left me perplexed. I am nowhere close to understanding people but I try to read the lines to see. I didn’t stress and I didn’t feel guilty for choosing me in every situation. I gave as much as I received.
In May I realized that being passionate means Jackie-donkey to many people. Because most people are as passionate as long as they receive good payment. Which explains why our country is like this tbh. A good life motivates me, being able to afford my healthcare motivates me so I pray that soon, I shall be where the big money is by God’s Grace still with passion.
I discovered I liked Asake’s music in May, it’s been on repeat and somehow ended the depression state I was in from May’s Second week to this last week. Writing for the creative arts magazine became a chore. I struggled so much to write about injustice in Congo, arts, or the wristwatches, and that’s when I knew I was in trouble and needed to get out of the funk.
I got out of depression this week’s Monday. I made my hair, ended subscriptions to things that no longer served me, and kept it moving. I got skincare and my turban from thatturban girl my friend Mimi, the celebrity turban maker.
It was beautiful coming out of depression, it felt like I could take in air and breathe. Also, the fact that June comes with a lot of rain makes me happy. I love June. May had me dismantling structures I used to rely on to be sane. I practiced quietness more and I read more books. Also, do you know that the Flower for May is the Lily of the Valley and Common Hawthorn?
On lessons
Most people are not as helpless as they claim to be, it takes wisdom to see the ones who are truly helpless and the ones who are just wearing the facade.
Self-love is one true way to pour into yourself and regain your power. Self-love is also expensive it is why every woman should aspire to have the means to afford to love herself the way she deserves.
We need people, animals, and land. Contact with any of these three is needed to keep us grounded.
Not every connection deserves to be deepened. Some people are best related to the shallow level because not everyone has depth.
Define wealth and peace in your terms.
Never rebel against your body. If she’s tired, rest, if she has energy, put it into work, accept her, and make peace that just as mother nature sheds, sometimes your body goes through things to shed various mental weights.
The purest forms of love for you exist out there somewhere and the belief that it exists should motivate you.
Your skills transfer to the future you who is successful, keep moving.
Do not blame yourself if you are not as successful as you desire yet, you might just be in your period of potential accumulation.
Love your body jealously. I love mine and have loved her for a long time. She’s taken us on this life journey so far and I am amazed by her beauty every day when I look in the mirror.
On Goals
Rest well as I strategize the next course I want this second quarter to take.
Pray fervently.
Join my faith with my mother’s.
Make conscious efforts to love myself.
Finish my books.
Take my Pinterest views to 10k monthly views.
Take care of my health.
Concluding note
Although I feel like I am missing out on some details because May was a lot of things, the summary of it is basically, out with the old and in with the new. I can’t move the same way I have moved before. Yesterday at my book club meeting they said that I have the New York book girl kind of beauty which is unashamed to take up space loudly or quietly. It is a good thing, if only they knew the years it took me to be comfortable taking up space they’d add sunflowers to follow the compliment or remark whichever it was. For you dear reader I am passing the positivity to you, that as we’ve prayed and prayed, with the spirit of a fresh start the second half brings, may your answers come.
Happy New Year
Winifred.
The new year practice in the month of June is the same for me, and a contributing factor is it being my birth month. Happy new year to you, Winnie.
Happy New year Winifred. Such a refreshing read.