Let’s never cross paths again.

One of my recent favorite quote is from The Game of Thrones series. It says: “Passion is shameful unless it is followed up directly with victory.”

This quote somehow fell into place to orchestrate my journey with high self-awareness. Passions all over the place makes you seek crazy or like am an amateur when you have good ammunition in your arsenal of life!

I had an HR and Management meeting with myself first as an overfeeler and as me from the future and what I will frown at.

When you seek to change your life you first change your natural body and mental reaction to things that happen to you. You change your thoughts as well as your body feelings and refuse with everything in you to surrender to the habit of routine your body has come to know.

Your mind knows what it must do but your body, a creature of habit falls into action almost as though it is independent of your mind.

This clash gives a life where your internal team is at a crossroads with each other. Your head says “we must push despite the pain,” your body says “let's just eat food and rest a little. Life is not hard.”

I will say my friend Chi has been pivotal in my period of “next phases” a lot.

When I decided to pull out of a devastating accident I had in 2021, her 25,000 naira loan to me helped me sign up for a course that paved way for the me of now.

This time it was a conversation with her that seemed like solid thousands of naira worth career advise from a career coach has opened my eyes to a lot of things I have allowed to lie around me.

I started my Loc journey on August 10th. But locs journey is not the only thing I've started.

Inside me, my reaction to things, people, what they do, or not do, how they respond, or not respond. I've noticed peace overall with that.

Given the outcome of my HR meeting with myself, anxiousness gave up on me. I suspect it is because my body is finally accepting the wisdom of my thoughts.

“You must become a new person!” I say every day. You must notice, you must be aware, you must know that whatever or however people react is them. That's just that. People being them. It is independent of you just as your reaction is yours to control.

Silence in actual words I say have become less. Even online I am trying my best to do my fasting from speech that are just for speech's sake.

“However now can you gauge growth when you do not give the chance to be triggered?” This thought came to my head and I knew it was from my body feeling too much at peace that it craved some sort of triggering which before happened a lot.

Triggered by the country. By Israel news with Palestine. A woman’s story at failed love. A girls story of failed fatherhood. Children starving, history seemingly repeating itself, Africa not being independent, Submission and leadership of husband and wives conversations, Solomon Buchi — an endless list of triggers.

My mind said no. Silence still. I found my person rant time in my notes decreasing and that led up to gratitude list.

Even those my mind seemingly convinced that they did not mean well for me I found myself grateful for a thing or two I picked during my time with them.

It is true that time heals the wounds you let go off. Emotions indeed cannot withstand the weatherings of time. And even time erases its own traces. You have to trust it and let the wounds go. I'll just end this here although it is more. I need to arrange the flow coherently and when I do perhaps it might become a series for “Let’s never cross paths again.”

I do not want to cross paths again with the old me. I honor her and what we shared but I'm sincere enough now to say I do not want to ever see her again. Management will continuously change but one sure thing is the management for her won't come again.

The passion now must keep going hard enough and long enough to be followed up by direct victory.