Hayati

Just like a book, you are the main character on the journey of life. So hate no parts. Nobody is getting out of here alive, and all our achievements we shall leave here.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Hi Hi

I should have said, “From your favorite wordsmith,” but I am not so sure. How are you? I hope you are smiling like me, despite the chaos this week has brought. I hope you are happy because your belly fat jiggles like mine, and it’s all part of growth.

This year has been a lot on so many levels, but I have loved it all the same. To me, it is my favorite year. I liked last year too, but I like this year more because I have permitted myself to be silly about life and not take anything at all seriously.

This week

I went back to finish my course on Tuesday. I sighed in relief. I read two posts yesterday, one from a girl called Simi on Medium, she said she found herself at 25, which is beautiful. For me, I think I find various parts each year, and this year I just flowed. I love flowing me, her heart aches, it cries in the bed at night when I think about a person. The good thing is I wake the next morning with vigor and laughing, you won’t know I cry at night, would you? Maybe you would because I just told you. 

Life has been heavy too!! The responsibilities almost make me lash out at my siblings who believe Winnie will always be there for them, and it breaks me because nobody will always be there for you aside from yourself. Stand even if you fall, stand up again, but ensure you stand up for yourself. This is what I tell them daily. Find ways to find what you love and do it with all of your heart. 

I also read from another woman who said she found herself at 52. My god 52. All these years... I admire her and I wish her many great things, but I want to thrive in my 30s so much, find myself, and be living like prettyxbookish. I want to have bullshit money. You know that money where I decide to up and move, and I am not shaken by my pockets. How? I don’t know yet but will find out how before this year ends, inshallah.

On faith

I have read so many books on religion and faith this year. It is intriguing, but one thing is that no book on religion will show you how to have faith like living in a country like Nigeria. And no adversity can test your faith when you see how fast this country is running to the ground. Hope is something I’ve long held its garments as it tears my hands away each time. I am still holding on to its threads.

On books

We are reading “A Thursday Murder Club Mystery by Richard Osman” in our book club. It’s a slow-burn book. I think it’s for old people too, hopefully, it picks up before I give up on it. Now, books, fiction books to me like Pemi Aguda said, fiction books are just hyperrealism. There’s everything true in the realities you see in some fictional reads, especially some genres like tragedy, horror, and the like. Even some romance, although most of it is just bizarre. However, I believe there’s a great change of mindset when you indulge in fiction. It sticks. I can’t recall most of the great advice I have read from nonfiction books, but you see lessons picked from fiction, the emotion stays with you vividly because of the premise of the plot, storytelling, and characters. 

On lessons

Helping people with applications has shown me that for the outside world, every little thing you do should contribute toward a grand goal. And this has somewhat made me really really think about niching down. However, I know the limitations that come with niching down. But imagine you did not get that business grant because none of your activity collides with the goal you put forward. I don’t know which is better currently but somehow I trust that by flowing soon I can decide what niching looks like to me. The world doesn’t reward generalists like that still generalists keep the clock ticking and blending intersections beautifully. 

On self

Accept all the sides to you. There’s no grand arrival you get to discover yourself nor is it a destination. It is a journey. Just like a book, you are the main character on the journey of life. So hate no parts. Nobody is getting out of here alive, and all our achievements we shall leave here. What you would have is the warmth in your heart when you look at yourself and the shades you have come in and smile. On more days than one, I find myself asking myself, “What if you sleep today and don’t wake?” God forbid because I need to find myself in Turkey soon, but you get the drift. I ask myself this and somehow all the giddy giddy from work life, and all other life calms and I still do my best. 

We behave like there’s a grand arrival waiting for who to first do this or that not knowing that at any point it comes it is worth celebrating. Just as the 52-year-old woman is celebrating her discovery of self. 

We can never get yesterday back but we can excitedly hope we make the most of today and wish tomorrow to be filled with pleasant surprises for us no matter how mundane it comes.

All the best,

Winifred.