Finding your aesthetics
Finding your aesthetics is also about the journey, you know the journey is not always sunshine and rainbows. Some days it is the comforting hug of the bubu dress you wore to the hospital.
Hello, Beautiful Souls,
One week became two, two became three, and now, it has been exactly one month since I last wrote to you. I hope you’re well and you are finding your little pockets of joy at unexpected places. I loved the month of March for many reasons, you see April, it’s been a weird month for me. I have questioned a lot of things in my life and gotten answers to some, and to others nothing yet. I have also found parts of me I didn’t know existed. April has been more like January for me. However, in it lies pockets of blessings and lessons I would share with you in this newsletter.
On everything
Part of the things I pondered upon this month was, “finding my aesthetics.” This was one of my goals for a long time. I didn’t even try to copy anybody’s style but I had admired a couple and now when I look at their style I say did I really admire this? This was and is in no way “my style.” Finding your aesthetic is that unique way of expressing yourself to the world. It’s beyond a social media trend; for me, it is about weaving the threads of what makes you “you.”
Finding your aesthetics is also about the journey, you know the journey is not always sunshine and rainbows. Some days it is the comforting hug of the bubu dress you wore to the hospital for your checks. On some days it is the beautiful Buba dress you take from your mom’s wardrobe to wear for Easter Sunday. Other times, it is that expensive shirt your ex bought for you that you’ve never worn because you couldn’t forgive him but it is too expensive to give out too; then one day you pick the shirt up and it is just a shirt on that day. Your heart is free, you are happy to finally utilize the shirt and wear it beautifully.
On some days even getting dressed feels like a mountain to climb, on other days, the comfort of your old shorts and that big t-shirt that can almost pass as a rag is your favorite thing to wear. All of these lead me to the keyword that has anchored my life this year, “Comfort.”
I have gone outside of my comfort zone most of my life, now I wish to operate within the confines of my comfort and allow it to push me for more. The desire for comfort spurs me to give myself the best treatment before anyone else. Just like your aesthetics, you know your essence can still shine through on bad days because your major theme stays. It can be the favorite scarf you wrap cozily around your neck, the love for bold earrings, and red lipstick that makes you smile, or how even that worn-out t-shirt that could pass for a rag is in your favorite shade of the color pink. And I believe this applies to every area of life as well– even on those hard days, your essence can still shine through.
On the other aspects of my life
Well, it’s a whole list, let’s get into it.
A client left me a 4.4-star review and it took my 100% JSS Score on Upwork to 87%. This has caused my top-rated badge to be removed from my profile. To think this client ghosted me for four months with no feedback about the work but suddenly a 4.4-star review. This makes me feel like people can shock you anytime.
I got a solar inverter. It cost a lot for me but the comfort work-wise is going to be great!
I paid for a one-course fee it almost took my breath away literally.
The love for comfort doesn’t allow my heart to ache unnecessarily by inconveniencing myself for others. My no comes fast, my “I don’t feel comfortable with this,” comes fast too. “No, I don’t want that,” “No, please leave me alone.” All politely said.
I’ve read so many fictional books, it’s so interesting how they help our brains and minds. I love fictional books because they offer diverse perspectives and give work to my brain, especially thrillers. For nonfiction books, I skim through them because there’s Quora and LinkedIn to learn nonfiction content.
On lessons
Finding your aesthetic isn't about rushing to a destination. It’s just about taking small, comfortable steps. Think about what makes you feel good, what colors draw you in, and what music stirs your soul. Maybe it’s a notebook filled with poetry scribbled in stolen moments, or a playlist blasting fierce energy as you tackle your day.
Even if it's just a whisper of your aesthetic, showing up authentically matters. It’s a proclamation that you're here, you're beautiful, and your light deserves to be seen.
Give yourself a chance to see what comes from your comfort zone sometimes it can be good.
There’s no journey that is a one-size-fits-all. Everyone’s journey is filled with detours and discoveries. Don’t forget to take breaks as you need them and celebrate your little wins.
The other day I asked myself, if I died now, who would be devastated the most? Who would talk about me until their last breath? I saw the faces that popped up in my head and since then I’ve become more conscious we are living on borrowed time, which makes my aesthetics more comfortable, peaceful, and happy. Just a sweet human experience with everything I do.
On goals
Get a sewing machine.
Map out the outline of my new thriller book and begin the piece.
Begin my course, and start putting bits and parts of my Upwork profile as I transition from offering writing services to what I might be offering next.
Finish the stock course.
Work well this week.
On exciting opportunities
On book and music
Music: Agalliao by Pastor Emmanuel Iren and Nathaniel Bassey — Very uplifting song.
Book because the series I was following isn’t for the faint-hearted so I am waiting till it is complete. I am reading “Love on the Brain,” by Ali Hazelwood, it shows the dynamics of what it is like for women in STEM.
Concluding note
In all of this would I say I have found my aesthetics? Yes, and even when it changes I know what will be constant. Sending you all the love and strength to find your own unique magic.
With a warm heart,
Winifred.