Be ‘the one that got away’ for many people!

That phrase is often used in romantic settings but it is not limited to romance. It is about self-preservation, it is about being that person who always tries, who always grows out of ugly situations.

Photo by Ivy Son

Hello, my yard people. How are you?

It’s been a struggle to write because there’s been so many ideas in my head and I didn’t write them down so I lost them. I got stuck on trying to get them back and ended up writing nothing.

I woke up after a bad dream and I got the idea to write this from numerous happenings in my life. Have you ever heard the phrase “the one that got away”?

That phrase is often used in romantic settings but it is not limited to romance. It is about self-preservation, it is about being that person who always tries, who always grows out of ugly situations, friendships, and whatever.

It’s about being that person who is not just unavailable but also out of reach, impossible to pin down, constantly growing and evolving. It is about leaving a little bit of mystery, a hint of transformation in your wake—so when people come looking for the old you, they find someone new, someone stronger, someone softer, someone who has upgraded their mentality and is not operating at the former brain wavelength anymore.

Be that one that got away for many people. For many men and many women, be that person and leave them wondering for the rest of their lives, “How did she do that?” “How did she leave me?” “How did she change her story?” Leave them in wonder.

You see, the “see finish,” state, is very real. It is not a place you want to be with any man or woman. I get that seeing someone finish is knowing them to an extent and appreciating the vulnerable parts they decide to share with you. However, we live in a world where that is not the case.

So avoid anyone to see you finish. Protect your family, your loved ones, your job, your work, and your business from see finish and become the one that got away. The one they didn’t show 100 sheges. The one that they showed madness to in 2% dose and she expressly deleted herself from the scene. The one that the client wanted to show toxicity and she refunded and left with her peace intact.

The thing is, it's easy to become the person that everyone thinks they’ve figured out, the one who stays put in one spot, comfortable and predictable. But, to be the one that got away? It means being a little bit harder to define. It means choosing the unfamiliar, embracing change, and leaving behind anyone who doesn’t respect the pace of your growth.

Being the one that got away also has to do with, someone leaving your life and returning to not meet you the same in every way. You changed, you evolved. It is fascinating. They consistently struggle with hate and admiration for you, so be careful.

How do you become that person?

• I will say stay unpredictable but that sounds like a mindfully hard job. Instead, I’ll say that consistency is great for habits, but when it comes to your personal evolution, leave some space for surprise. Try new things, explore new passions, and let your curiosity guide you.

• Hold boundaries like a fortress. Be unavailable for nonsense, disrespect, and belittlement—whether it’s negativity, draining conversations, or anything that doesn’t align with your path. When you make space for what truly matters, you become the person others admire but can never fully grasp.

• Evolve and accept change as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to shed old skin and outgrow your comfort zone. The person you are today should be a stranger to who you were last year. Most importantly do it for yourself. This way you do not need to try hard to keep people guessing—by themselves, they will wonder about the new depths you have and the ones they have uncovered previously.

• Say no—a lot! Being unavailable for the nonsense means saying no more than yes. No to unnecessary drama, no to things that don’t serve your spirit, no to anything that keeps you small. This doesn’t make you cold; it makes you focused and brings you discipline.

• Defy the small box they’ve put you in. Stay curious and seek out new experiences. Challenge your beliefs and question your assumptions. Be open to new perspectives without feeling attacked by the beliefs you knew before. Surprise yourself from time to time with unexpected actions or statements. It feels safe to do all we used to do in the way we usually do them. However, from time to time do the unexpected action or say an unexpected statement. Never reveal too much about yourself at once–an open book should not be you, close it, and experience a true reader.

By embracing unpredictability, continuous evolution, and setting boundaries, you can become the enigma that others can't quite figure out. Know that, it's not about being elusive or manipulative; it's about being true to yourself and living life on your own terms.

Why does this even matter?

Well, when people look back, you’ll be the one they can’t quite define, the one whose presence changed their perspective, the one they couldn’t box in or predict. You’ll grow before their very eyes reminding them that growth is relentless and that anyone worth keeping up with you has to respect the space you need to grow.

So, if you’ve ever felt the pressure to stay the same—to be “reliable” in ways that dim your light—consider this your sign to break free. Be the one who got away, the one who’s always a few steps ahead, evolving, becoming, thriving.

And when they come back looking for who you used to be? They’ll find a new version of you—stronger, wiser, and unavailable for anything less than what you deserve. Be the enigma: unpredictable, evolving, and unapologetic about it.

Keep moving forward,

With love,

Win.

P.S. If this message hits home, share it with someone else who needs to hear it.

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Thanks for reading. bye!