25+ fears I have as a young adult navigating life

Fear is a valid emotion and sometimes it cripples us from giving our best to things.

I thought hard and long this morning about what to write because in my life a lot of things happen simultaneously. All good things, there are just so many happening at once. 

While thinking I had thoughts like: ‘Write on simplicity,’ ‘write on mindfulness,’ ‘write about the cool thing you discovered on Tiktok,’ ‘write about your books,’ ‘write about friendship.’

With each thought came the fear that I might be delivering a watered-down piece. I dislike watered-down pieces. You know the type where the writer writes just for the sake of writing. However, that is writing, we should write for the sake of writing. At the same time, I saw how the pieces that came from my heart resonated wildly.

I love the comments: “honest, raw, introspective, resonating, apt, profound, deep, relatable, funny, feels like a hug, soft, clean, poetic, vulnerable, inspiring, changed my perspective, motivated me, gives me hope for the new day.”

These comments make me know I am creating good art. Bad art according to me isn't art that brings negative criticism per se. It is an art that makes the audience feel “NOTHING,”—it is an art that is bland, tasteless, evoking no emotion be it hate or adoration.

I decided to write about my “Fears,” because all these hesitation stem from fear. The fears grow and sometimes it scares me. Most of them are mundane, others are valid, while some are just clearly chaotic.

My fears

1. I fear people stealing my work and gaining the recognition I can never gain from it because I lack the social capital to push it. Or because I lack the right connections to challenge them. I am a ghostwriter sometimes, and for that I am paid well to give out my creative rights after building someone's idea for them. This fear is someone just stealing my brainchild and running with it and thriving. Karma is slow and with the way the world goes, evil thrives a lot. Maybe it is because Shaytan is here and this is his domain so he multiplies the evil.

2. I fear someone hissing because they just saw my call or message on their phone. Haha I rather chew fifteen jeans than believe there are people amongst my friends who hiss when they see my message or phone call. Haha.

3. I am afraid of people who are enthusiastic about sex. Like 24/7 that's all you think about. I had an encounter with two past men who were like that before and while I felt like that is them doing “them.” Now I just feel fear. They will cheat on you with anyone. There are no standards, no spec. Everything and anyone goes and that's scary.

4. I fear not taking my mother to Ethiopia before she leaves Earth at 120 to become an angel.

5. I fear settling for a man who doesn't satisfy me emotionally and isn't a fan of hugs. 😂😂

6. I fear not showing my siblings what exponential success looks like.

7. I fear not being successful at my business “wynletters,” I fear I might complicate my offerings so much as a multitalented being and end up not maximizing my potential in one field fully.

8. I also fear doing one thing so much that I am so good at it and I begin to feel bored from it.

9. I fear diluting myself to fit into spaces I am never wanted at in the first place.

10. I fear a friend seeing me as those ones outside of her circle and time to time thinks it is okay to breadcrumb me affection like a dumping spot. 😂 I rather use my knee and crawl on a hot rocky ground.

11. I fear being on a boat that's not moving on open sea or ocean. I'm afraid of big bodies of water.

12. I fear respecting my boundaries too much that I do not let anybody truly be as they should around me.

13. I fear being a mother for I fear I might not excel at that role and there's no turning back.

14. I fear fame stumbling upon me and me not being ready for it and messing it up.

15. I fear slaving in the corporate world for years and never achieving the true freedom of being on my farm and a vast land and just thriving with nature like Bretman in Hawaii.

16. I fear not seeing the world as I'd love to.

17. I fear wanting so many things that it cripples me and I end up not doing anything.

18. I fear legit fear most nem—read backward. Until proven otherwise. Like I begin from like 0 and you have to walk your way to 100 percent with me on trust.

19. I fear women who haven't decentered men yet in their lives and are not in the process to. I feel like they could see the most blatant wickedness done to women and find an excuse still. The women whose lives aren't whole and full till a man walks in. Scaryyy

20. I fear how worse my country can get.

21. I fear anybody seeing me as a charity case. Lmao 😂😂😂 it's so funny but I fear it.

22. I fear becoming too successful that I miss my “Why.” or begin to see my family as not fitting for me. God forbidddeddddddd.

23. I fear having a friend or partner who never liked me but at the same time is fascinated by me. Abeg oh. That's like witchcraft.

24. I fear frying fish. 😂 I hate it. It always gives me blisters.

25. I fear never having the dream library and reenacting all my saved pins on Pinterest.

26. I'm afraid of people who are always so enthusiastic to meet people and begin famzing them immediately.

I'll stop here. There are still some fears I can't put words to. However, writing these out relieved me. It feels like a hug to myself.

Affirmations I use to tackle the uncertainty these fears bring

1. I surrender to things taking as long as they take.

2. The hard stuff will pass and so will the good stuff.

3. I quiet the feelings with outside forces right now as I come back to myself.

4. I am a force that can heal and comfort.

5. For the things that do not work I shall not push. I will ease into my life graciously.

Writing to me has always been a means to process the hidden things beneath my surface. Like I said in one of my notes. I write till I speak life to myself. It is a form of prayer for me.

Today, I know I am not my fears, even if these fears are valid, and may try to cripple my full experience of people, and things. I know I shall forge on beautifully and conquer them just as I conquered my fear of swimming pools. I love swimming pools because why not?

I trust me.

A piece of advice I got yesterday reads like this:

• Write daily

• Learn how to sell

• Build a skill related to writing

• Create a strong presence online

• Stay patient until you win

• That's it. That's your secret to replacing your 9-5 in a year.

One thing about me taking advice is that if the person advising me doesn't have the life I want then just take a pinch of their advice. For this advice he has the life I admire and all came from writing. So I collect it with all of my heart.

Thank you for reading. ♡